Monday, May 27, 2013

There’s Much to be Learned from The Killer


I ride the metro alone ten times per week on average. I can best describe my daily commute by misquoting Dorothy Parker’s description of Katherine Hepburn’s acting,  I’ve seen “the entire gamut from A to B”—every day and every ride is virtually the same, sort of. In the mornings I read or write for most of the thirty-minute one-way trip. In the afternoons I complete the majority of a Sudoku puzzle and/or listen to my iPod. I get thirty minutes every day with the music that defined my last four decades on earth.

Depending on my mood and what appeals to me on any given day, I scroll through the menu and find one of my musical inspirations; and, as with countless other examples, I tend to get a bit obsessive. Since January I have listened to my entire collections of the Doors, Prince, J. Geils, G. Love, Axl N’ Roses, and the Sugar Hill Gang (OK, OK just Rapper’s Delight but all 14 minutes several times over)—to name a few.

The Killer
This morning after I settled into my seat on the train, I realized I had no book to read and not much to say either, so I put in my ear buds and fired up the Classic. That’s when I found The Killer—Jerry Lee Lewis. When Gwaz and I were only 17 years old she introduced me to Jerry Lee via an 8-track tape of his greatest hits…you know, Chantilly Lace, Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On, Great Balls of Fire, Breathless-ah. Jerry Lee made his first public appearance in 1949 at age 14 and his first recording in 1956. His latest cd, Last Man Standing, (2006, aged 71) is as much testament to his legendary status as to what he has meant to pop culture. I’m thinkin’ to him the part in the middle is one big blur. The guy lived at break-neck speed. (He was one of the original ten inductees at the Cleveland Museum of Music.)

So there I was sitting alone, listening to Jerry Lee sing his song, Mean Ole Man. I was staring out the window at the same Dutch rail line that I’ve seen twice a day, almost every day when Jerry Lee said, “Thank God I can still do it.”

I thought, “Amen to that.”

That’s about the time it occurred to me that there is much to be learned from The Killer:
  • ·      Try to marry the right person in fewer than seven tries
  • ·      Make sure you actually divorce the first one before marrying the second
  • ·      Make sure you actually divorce the second one before marrying the third
  • ·      Make sure your third wife is not your 13 year old cousin
  • ·      Too much love drives a man insane
  • ·      When you visit Graceland drunk, don’t brandish a handgun while summoning the King
  • ·      When your ex-wife drowns, have a good alibi; but stick to just the one
  • ·      Trouble is called “trouble” for good reason, so no matter what…never, ever give up
  • ·      Make workin’ feel like you’re playin’




Thursday, May 16, 2013

Barca


OK quick…word association: Barcelona… Go!

No, I mean that literally; go, you will love it. If you are like me, you immediately thought of that melty church. You probably thought of the ’92 Olympics or Picasso. Tell the truth, did you know the name Antoni Gaudi? If not, one visit to this magnificent seaside city and you won’t be able to forget it.

Modernista
Touring the city neighborhoods is mildly reminiscent of most huge cities; they have one of everything and a bunch of most. Known as a leader in modernista architecture, Barcelona is a tourist’s dream destination. All over the city, all 1249 square miles of the metropolitan region, you can find building after building considered brilliant works of art, and many renowned for their modernista design.

The people of Barcelona are fiercely proud of their Catalan heritage, and they should be. Everywhere are symbols of their glorious culture and rich history. Much more Catalonian than Spanish, they identify with the region first and everything else a distant second.

Spanish royalty belongs to the House of Borbon, but the true kings of Barcelona wear scarlet and blue—the Futbol Club Barcelona. Known as Barca by the die-hards, the franchise is among the most successful sports teams ever and as genuine a symbol of Catalan culture as can be found.

Sagrada Familia
And Gaudi? Ah, yes, that melty church…even if you didn’t recognize his name, you have seen his masterwork, La Sagrada Familia. Work on the site of the cathedral was begun in 1882 as a project of the architect Francisco de Paula del Villar. Gaudi was commissioned in 1883 to assume the work, which he did until his death in 1926 (when he was hit by a tram.) Gaudi knew he would not live to see his dream completed. When asked to comment, he reportedly said, “It is OK. My client is patient. God has all the time in the world.”

The official website for Sagrada Familia calls the basilica “one of the most universal signs of identity of the city and the country”, something Gaudi himself foretold when he claimed, “Barcelona will be known for my church.”



  






Thursday, May 2, 2013

A Queen's Day in the Life


8:00
Mounted Police take Position
9:00
Old Guys Marching Band Going Somewhere
10:00


On Museumplein
11:00
De Koningin meets her subject
12:00
Street Musicians in Vondel Park

The crowds build...

Lunch Featuring the First of Many
13:00
...and build...
14:00
On Dam Square
15:00
No cars, no trams, but plenty of boats!
16:00
On Utrechtstraat, closer to home
17:00


19:00
By 7:00 p.m. the king and queen were....zzzzzzzzzz!


He's at it Again!


Recently, I described my growing concern that ultimately I will fall prey to one of the many pickpockets roaming the streets of Amsterdam. On Queen’s Day, a perfect opportunity for the inconspicuous dirty deeds of the untoward among us, my fears were realized.

If not for the public surveillance afforded by Dutch authorities, my story would not have such a happy ending…


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Koningin voor de Dag


     

Back in November as Gwaz was rummaging through the racks at Kohl’s and Stein Mart looking for orange-colored clothes she could wear on Queen’s Day, she had no idea how important her choices would become. And, when we moved into the apartment at Amstel 155 and Gwaz did her best Cinderelly imitation, the orangie-yellow hat she found didn’t seem as significant as it proved to be on 30 April. Even as she suited-up for our mega-walk around town, it wasn’t initially obvious that she was “Queen for the Day.” Soon after she hit the street, her coronation began.

It’s funny because neither of us recognized her resemblance to Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands, whose birthday we were celebrating. Known locally as Queen’s Day, this annual celebration attracts an estimated crowd over 1.5 million people to Amsterdam alone. This year, Queen’s Day (30 April) had the added significance of the transfer of the monarchy to her son, King Willem-Alexander. At first we thought the staring and finger pointing had more to do with Gwaz’s orange-haired bodyguard; but after a short while there was no confusion about the attention Queen Gwaz garnered. I think it was somewhere around Museumplein that the first of Gwaz’s loyal subjects approached her for a photo.


By the time we wandered through Vondel Park along with the better part of one hundred thousand people to see the sights, sample the street food, and mull over the hundreds of yard-sale vendors, it was clear that “her highness” was conspicuous among her subjects. In fact, all day we heard the shouts of “Koningin” or were greeted by people asking for a photo with the “queen”.

All those Hollywood types on the red carpet have nothing on Gwaz, who seemed to grow more and more comfortable throughout the day having her photo taken. Early in the afternoon, long after it was abundantly clear that a pattern had been established, an Asian woman excitedly approached de Koningin and not trusting her English, gestured her request for a photo. Using her camera, I snapped the picture. While handing the camera back to her I said, “I married the queen.”

Inadvertently choosing the most appropriate subheading possible for a great day, she replied, “You lucky bastard!”